Blog Post # 6 – Do Women Like Being Choked During Sex?

14 Dec

http://crunkfeministcollective.wordpress.com/2010/12/07/why-jay-electronica-can-go-choke-on-his-own-words/

So I chose this article because I’ve heard some of Jay Electronica’s music and when I saw the title, I had to read the article. So after reading this article I did a bit of research (not really just googled and youtubed it!!!) and this has become quite a controversial issue. So this article talks about this bet that Jay, Nas and TJ the DJ have going on about whether women like being choked during sex or not, for $20,000 and the payout day is Dec. 25th. They have basically been conducting an informal survey to decide this by asking the audience at their concerts the same question. The author of this article calls all three of them “ASSHOLES”. She continues saying that “they arent assholes because they like erotic asphyxiation. A lot of people are into that. If this was a conversation about the range of practices that are pleasurable for women then as a feminist, I would be down for that. But there is a bet on it, so I wouldnt bet on it.” She goes on to say that this is a battle between Nas, Jay and DJ over whose dick is bigger! She makes a great point that how can any three men ever determine what “all women” like? She goes on by saying that “at the moment that this becomes about generalizing female sexual practices under one banner, it no longer becomes about women, but about men’s idea and projection of who they would like us to be.” She also talks about this woman who yells back “Its not funny” and how Jay and the crowd immediately silence her by saying “Its not supposed to be funny. Relax.” She also talks about how Jay also admitted that there were underaged folks in the crowd, and then he recklessly proceeded to promote irresponsible sexual messages like women don’t really know what they want in the bedroom, it’s up to men to help us “figure it out” [and a little financial incentive wouldn’t hurt] and many of us are lying anyway, given the disparity in crowd response. She looks at this as a recipe for rape. Towards the end I think that she came up with a great idea that first Jay should apologize and that all three of them should donate the $20,000 to some initiative that empowers women and girls who are sexual violence survivors.

I completely agree with the author that this whole bet thing is ridiculous. Some men do find it entertaining but it is an insult to women. I personally do not favor the bet that they have going on but you know what we cant stop people from doing what they want to do unless its illegal. So having said that, I think that if Jay, Nas and TJ wanted to make a bet over this then they shouldnt have made it public and especially when their audience has underaged kids because they are sending out the wrong message to these kids as to how men are supposed to treat women.  I also found out that they have been doing this routine at all their concerts including NYC. In Toronto, the executives and managers had to apologize to the audience for Jay’s act after the show. Now I do disagree with the author on the issue of Jay and the crowd silencing the woman yelling out. I do not think that they silenced her because they do not respect her. I think that Jay did not want to have a heated debate or any controversy at that time when he was on stage. Obviously to him this whole situation does not seem controversial but getting into a heated debate with an audience member seems pretty controversial even to him. You can see in the video that he realized that some of the audience members were offended by his routine and so he just wanted to end it and continue with the show. What he said to the woman wasnt really disrespectful. All he said was “Its not supposed to be funny. Relax and enjoy the music.” This doesnt mean that I’m defending Jay. Not at all. I also do think that its a great idea that all three of them should donate that money.

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